


heaven isn't too far away

by synchronysymphony



Category: RG Veda (Manga)
Genre: (not really angsty though), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Co-workers, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 11:47:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9070345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/synchronysymphony/pseuds/synchronysymphony
Summary: Soma loves Kendappa. Kendappa loves her job. What's a girl to do?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [terpsichoreanprincess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/terpsichoreanprincess/gifts).



> Happy birthday to my favorite sister :D

Soma wasn’t sure when they had all started calling their boss the God King (or GK for short). It might have started out flippantly, maybe one of Karura’s acerbic little digs at her employer, or more likely, a practical joke of Kujaku’s gone too far. Whatever it was, though, it had stuck, and now it was standard practice in the office. 

Privately, Soma rather liked it. She always pronounced it with a sneer, a twist to her lip and a crease between her eyebrows, _GK wants to see you now, better watch out_ , or _his majesty GK wants these copies stat_ , and her coworkers would grimace and share a rueful little chuckle, commiserating with her at their shared fate.

That is, all but one. Kendappa never shared in the joke. She alone referred to GK by his proper name, deferred to him with all the respect he attempted to command by virtue of his cruelty and insatiable appetite for control, even refused to slack off in the break room and complain about his latest whims. The others made fun of her for it sometimes, but Soma never did. She cared too much.

She and Kendappa weren’t exactly together, and they definitely weren’t serious, but that didn’t matter, because Soma was deeply, desperately, dumbly in love. She came back from their shared lunch breaks (and “lunch” breaks) out of breath and glowing, regardless of what they’d done together. She didn’t mind that they weren’t official; just being together was enough. 

If only Kendappa was less loyal to GK. Her sense of duty was one of the things Soma loved about her, but it was also infuriating, because it meant she followed all the higher-ups in her life with an almost dogged sense of devotion. It didn’t matter that GK was bigoted, or overly stringent, or dictatorial. He was Kendappa’s boss, and she would follow him to the ends of the earth.

—

It was a slow Friday afternoon, one of those days that seems to get stuck at 2:00 and stay there for hours. Soma was perched on Karura’s desk, swinging her legs and sipping coffee while she listened to Karura prattle on about her sister. Karyoubinga was her only family, and to hear her tell it, she could hang the moon.

“You should have heard her at the winter concert,” she was saying enthusiastically. “Her solo was absolutely beautiful. We had to rush her to the hospital right after, but it was worth it, because she was so happy. You should have seen her, Soma. Absolutely glowing.”

Soma smiled indulgently. “Do you have pictures?”

“Do I ever! Here we go.” 

Karura opened up her phone gallery and began explaining each photo one by one. To Soma’s eye, they all looked the same, but they were cute, and she didn’t want to deny Karura her bit of fun, so she just nodded and smiled and asked appropriate questions. Karura, delighted, looked ready to offer her a hug.

They had gotten about halfway through the concert, when there was a heavy footfall behind them, and the scratchy he-hem sound that they all knew so well. Soma bit off a curse in her throat. Why did GK always have to come around when she was slacking off?

“Well, ladies. I see you’re having fun.”

“Just having a bit of a break is all,” said Karura evenly. 

“A break, is it? I didn’t know you had so little work that you could afford to take a _break_.”

“Most people take regular breaks,” said Soma, resisting the urge to add _you sanctimonious clod_. GK didn’t look impressed. 

“Not around here they don’t.”

“Do you really think that’s a healthy policy?”

“Are you _questioning_ me?” GK’s face was as stony as ever, but his voice was incredulous. He shook a finger in Soma’s direction. “Get back to your desk. And you better hope I find you there when 5:00 comes around.”

There was a lot of things Soma wanted to say to this, but she couldn’t, not if she wanted to keep her job, so she just mumbled a not-quite deferential “yes sir,” and hopped off Karura’s desk to go back to her own. 

GK did find her there when 5:00 came around, but he also found her sitting with an alphabetized list of reasons why she hated him typed up on her computer screen, so he had ample reason to be angry after all. He glared at her so hard that she was afraid his face would crack, and sent her on her way with the curtest dismissal she’d ever heard. In those few moments, she was legitimately afraid for her life. It was only once she’d gotten inside her car that she could finally breathe again.

Honestly. GK was the _worst_. 

—

Soma and Kendappa didn’t meet up on weekends often. When they did, it was usually with the excuse of finishing some project or other, and even when it devolved into something less professional, they could maintain the illusion of carelessness. This Saturday, though, Kendappa had sent a rare “wyd” text, and Soma had replied within ten seconds inviting her over. 

Now, they were snuggled up on the couch together, watching _Versailles_ and drinking the expensive sweet wine that Kendappa loved. Truth to be told, neither of them were paying much attention to the show or to the drinks in their hands, because this was a rare moment, rose-petal soft and infinitely precious, and there was so much more to look at in each other’s faces than on the TV. Soma thought she knew what that Aerosmith song had been saying now; she, too, wanted to stay here in this moment for the rest of time.

So, of course, she immediately ruined it.

“Kendappa,” she said. Kendappa nuzzled against her cheek.

“What is it?”

“Why don’t we do this more often?”

Kendappa froze, every muscle going tense against her. “What do you mean,” she asked, too carefully.

"I mean, I want to see you more often," said Soma. 

It didn't seem to help. Kendappa's posture was still stiff, too upright and careful.

"You see me at work."

"Yeah. But that's work. I want to see you, like this."

"Why?"

That got to the heart of it, all right. Well, Soma had gotten this far, so she might as well finish the race. She cleared her throat. 

"Because I have feelings for you."

Kendappa looked down. "Ah," she said. There was a lot unsaid in that _ah_. "Right."

There was an uncomfortable silence. Soma wasn't going to take back anything she'd said, because it was all true, and like hell was she going to run away from that again, but she didn't know what else to do. Should she apologize? Try to make a joke? In the end, Kendappa spoke.

"Feelings are strange."

What was that supposed to mean? Soma wrinkled her nose. "Are you trying to dismiss this?"

"No," Kendappa said immediately, which was good, but then she went on. "It's hard to deal with these things sometimes. I'm the first to admit I don't know how. But this... I can't."

Soma's stomach felt like ice. She twisted her hands in her lap. "You can't... have feelings for me?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then what?"

"I don't know."

Soma didn't know what to make of this. It was cryptic, there was no doubt about that, and it didn't sound good, but she didn't want to press. She was going to respect Kendappa's right to say whatever she wanted, no matter how hard that was. But it _was_ hard. She had no idea what to say. 

"I mean," she began. 

Kendappa coughed. "I should go. Um– we can talk later?”

"Oh."

Soma didn't know what else to do. She silently moved over and watched as Kendappa collected her things and walked to the door. 

"Bye," she said, knowing exactly how awkward it was. Kendappa gave her a tight smile.

"I'll see you around."

Ouch. Soma dropped her eyes, not daring to look up until the door had closed all the way.

So, this was fun. Love was the most painful of all plagues in the entire world. 

\--

Kendappa came to Soma's desk the next day. Soma had been expecting a little awkwardness, maybe some reticence, but she honestly hadn't expected the letter of resignation that Kendappa waved in her face.

"I just need your signature here."

"What?"

Soma knew she sounded foolish. Her brain was still processing _Kendappa, close to me_ , and for a second, she had no clue why she would need to sign. But slowly, as Kendappa continued to look at her, the realization broke.

"You want me to resign."

"It's not me." Did Kendappa's voice sound strained? Was she frowning? Was she fidgeting more than usual? Probably not; these were just things that Soma wanted to see. "Orders came from above. I was just told to deliver the message."

Soma wondered if this was a nightmare. Maybe all that ice cream she'd eaten before bed last night had frozen her brain. 

"GK told you to fire me?"

"He said..." Kendappa sighed, and yes, she was definitely fidgeting now. She slapped the paper down on Soma's desk. "Just sign."

Soma looked at her searchingly, trying to figure out what was behind that icy blue gaze. Her eyes were so empty; surely she had to be feeling, thinking something. She couldn't just be GK's puppet. The thought was intolerable.

"Kendappa." Soma hated how her voice was too soft, too fragile. "You don't really want to do this, do you?"

Kendappa didn't reply for a second. Soma watched her fingers curl and uncurl at her side, playing an unknown melody into the air. She was probably missing her guitar, Soma thought. Music always helped to calm her down. 

But maybe she didn't need that, after all. When she spoke next, her voice was perfectly steady. "It's not up to me. I follow the orders I'm given."

"But don't you want to think for yourself?" Soma swept the paper aside (not quite off the desk, because even now, she couldn't bear to dismiss anything from Kendappa, impersonal resignation letter or not) and put her hand where it had been instead. Kendappa could have touched it if she'd moved her own hand just a little more. "You can, you know! I know duty and loyalty are important to you, and I'm not saying that's not valid, but think about it. You're your own person. You can do what you want. You can-"

"Soma, please sign the letter."

"Kendappa..."

"Soma. Please."

There was still nothing in her eyes. Too much nothing, almost determinedly so. Soma had seen this look only once, after Karura's sister had been rushed to the emergency room for heart failure, and GK had refused to let Karura go see her. Then, Kendappa had quietly finished up her immediate tasks, and gone to the hospital herself, knowing that GK would be more lenient with her than with anyone else. Soma still remembered the way she'd looked that day, and how frightening it had been. 

And now, she looked almost the same. Her eyes were blank, and though the rest of her wasn't moving, her fingers continued to tap out a measured rhythm against her side, seemingly involuntarily. Practiced and purposeful she might be, but no matter how frigid she appeared, there was this part of herself that she couldn't hide.

Soma felt her heart clench up. _Oh, Kendappa..._

It wasn't her fault. She was trying to do what she thought she had to, trying to preserve her own moral code, and Soma was just making things harder for her. Soma had never been one to inconvenience the people she cared about (dare she say loved?) so she sighed in weary acquiescence.

"I'll sign."

"You will?" Kendappa was startled out of blankness for a minute; her face registering genuine shock. Soma smiled sadly. 

"I will."

She took the paper back and signed it in even, smooth strokes that betrayed nothing of the turmoil in her head. If Kendappa could be poised, so could she. Still, her pen faltered on the last letter of her name. This was it; after this, she would never see Kendappa again.

There could be no illusions about that. The others, yes- Karura and Kujaku came to visit her apartment several times per week already, and Ryu and the others could probably be persuaded to do so as well. But Kendappa... their delicate relationship might not survive this break (if it weren't already gone after Soma's blunder last night). No, there was no doubt about it. This was it.

The last stroke of the pen felt like a final bullet; Soma knew she was being a little dramatic, but she felt like she was signing away her happiness in blue-ink ballpoint. Was this what Dr. Faustus felt like? But no, that wasn't the right analogy. Kendappa would laugh to hear her mixing up her literary allusions like this.

Kendappa.

Soma looked up again, daring to search for those blue eyes. They might as well have been stars for how far away they were now. Kendappa nodded back, but it was studied, impersonal, as if she was trying to hold herself back from any kind of interaction.

"Thank you," she said.

Soma didn't trust her voice. Mutely, she pushed the paper in Kendappa's direction. Kendappa picked it up, much too slowly, and put it in her folder.

"You may clean our your desk today. We'll have your replacement here by the end of the week."

Soma was used to Kendappa's cold manner of speech. She was always formal, overly rigid, bordering on impersonal. But even so, it hurt to hear it now. She nodded, trying for normalcy (it didn't work) and pushed her chair back.

"All right. Then, if you don't mind..."

"Yes."

Kendappa half-bowed and began to walk away, heels clicking neatly on the tiles. But before she turned the corner to the hallway, she looked back.

"Soma, I really am sorry."

Soma looked down. She couldn't say anything. Duty was one thing, and Kendappa's professionalism was understandable, if painful. But sympathy- that was too much to bear. She pressed against her eyes to stave off tears. It seemed like nothing could be right, not ever again. 

\--

Now that Soma was a lady of leisure, she hardly knew what to do with herself. She woke up late, ate a slow-cooked breakfast, and spent hours at the gym, trying to make the most of her new lack of responsibilities. It was strange not to feel guilty about abstaining from work, and even stranger to have as much time as she wanted to herself, but it was also lonely. She'd never lived like this before.

Even worse, though, was the dull, aching throbbing in her chest, ever-present, no matter how hard she tried to put Kendappa from her mind. The woman had rejected her, that was clear, and there was nothing she could do about it. But it hurt so much, more than she'd ever thought was possible. She'd never known love could be as agonizing as this. 

About a week after Soma's forced resignation (day zero, she thought), after Karura and Kujaku had come by to drink and lament everything, and Soma was just beginning to get into a new routine, Kendappa texted.

It wasn't a long message, just a simple "are you home," but Soma couldn't remember the last time she'd been so affected. She texted back immediately, then sat down on the couch to hug a pillow and try to talk herself into calming down. This could either break her or make her anew. 

After what seemed like an eternity (but which was really probably closer to fifteen minutes), there was a sharp knock on the door. Soma bolted up from the couch to answer, only to pause in front of the doorknob with her hand outstretched, paralyzed. 

She had no idea what was going to happen. She'd texted back because she was physically incapable of _not_ doing so, but she almost hated herself for it. She had no idea why Kendappa might be coming to her house, and she could try to guess, but the only reasons her mind supplied were bad ones, so this did nothing to calm her nerves. Finally, somehow, barely sure of what she was doing, she pulled back the chain and opened up the door.

Immediately, before she could register what was happening, there was a dainty hand shooting out, and perfectly manicured nails gripping onto the front of her shirt. Kendappa was pulling her in close, irrevocable in her passion.

"I resigned," she said.

This made no sense, especially because Soma was now close enough to feel the heat rising from Kendappa's body and to see the grain of her lipstick, and pretty much nothing made sense at close quarters like this. Soma thought it was understandable for her to shake her head in confusion.

"What?"

"I resigned. I wrote the letter myself. They can't do that, they can't..." Kendappa sucked in a breath of air, trembling. Soma had never seen her in such a state before. "I told GK. I won't work in such an awful place. He made me fire you, and I know duty is important, but love is _more_ important, and I couldn't work without you, I couldn't face it, I..."

Soma was positive she was hallucinating. There was no way Kendappa was saying all this. And- wait. _Love_?

"Say again?"

Kendappa broke off. Her eyes were wild. It was a storm now, not a constellation any longer. "What?"

"You, ah." Soma cleared her throat. "You love me?"

"Did I say that?"

"I mean- I wouldn't swear on it? This is surreal. But I think- I thought-"

"It's true." 

Kendappa seemed to remember how to breathe, maybe by pure will power. She paused a second, just looking down and silently collecting her thoughts. Soma was wildly, desperately curious to know what was coming, but she managed (just barely) to restrain herself from interrupting.

It was good that she did, because finally Kendappa looked up, and her eyes were much softer now.

"I won't take it back. I love you. When you told me you had feelings for me, I didn't know how to deal with it and I was afraid, so I ran away, but now I know I want you in my life for good. And maybe you don't want that, and that's fine, especially after how I treated you, here and at work. I put duty first, trying to ignore that it was loyalty to a warped and toxic man- no. Not loyalty. Blind obedience. GK is a dictator, pure and simple, and I was trying to convince myself that this wasn't the case, because I was too afraid to admit that the moral system I'd held all my life had flaws. But when he made me fire you, that's when I knew. It was a wake-up call. I couldn't be there any longer."

Soma felt dazed. She groped for Kendappa's hand and held it, as much to keep herself present as to give a physical answer.

"So you- you quit?"

"I quit."

"But..."

"It's all right. I have another job lined up." Kendappa laughed now, a little self-conscious for the first time. "I don't really know what else to say. I wanted to tell you this, so I rushed over. But I'm afraid I don't-"

Soma kissed her. 

It wasn't the best kiss in the world. It was too sudden for that. Soma would have been ashamed of herself if she'd had time to think about it, but as it was, she was too lost in the sweetness, and in the fact that Kendappa was kissing her back. She stepped closer, closed her eyes (had they really been open before? how embarrassing) and dove headlong into heaven.

Many moments later, Soma floated back down to earth to find herself leaning against the doorframe with Kendappa pressed tight against her, one hand framing her hip, and the other buried in her hair. There was a blissful, angelic smile on her pretty face. 

"Soma," she said.

That was all she needed to say. Every expression of love, every nuance was embedded in that one word. Soma dropped her head against Kendappa's shoulder.

"I love you," she said. 

It should have been frightening. Love had always been too powerful for the likes of her. But it didn't feel that way now. It was a relief, something indisputably right and good that had been true a long time ago, and that had only become stronger with time. 

Kendappa wrapped her arms around Soma, warm and safe. Soma smiled and sighed and slumped against her, worn out with emotion. She knew they had much to discuss, probably soon, in fact, but for now, this was perfect.

"I love you," she whispered again. "Stay with me?"

The answering kiss that Kendappa gave her was more than answer enough. And when she smiled against Soma's hair and spoke, it was nothing short of miraculous.

"I always will. I promise."

**Author's Note:**

> I tried  
> [tumblr](http://synchronysymphony.tumblr.com)


End file.
